I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
