chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
