Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I need moral support for this bender
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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