I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
