We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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