Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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