Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
