You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I have fence marks all over my body
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
