Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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