Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
