He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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