Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Randomize
