How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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