kristin has been a bad kristin
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
