You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
