you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
