By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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