There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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