Tell her she can't have a vagina
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
