I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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