i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just had sex on a roof
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
