I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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