I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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