Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize