so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
