she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
