Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize