So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
