Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
So much rum. So many feels.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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