alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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