There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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