It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
