I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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