That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
