i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
