I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
