I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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