If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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