Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Hippo gnu deer
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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