Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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