it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
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