I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
