I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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