their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Randomize
