My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
