She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
