Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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