D3 body, D1 cock
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
