I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I need a hoe opinion
go on
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
