I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
