it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
