We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
