I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
