tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
