i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
