I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
