Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He passed out mid-signature
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize