Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
this is an emotional support booty call
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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