I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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